Tuesday, October 31, 2000

What was that? A Nokia? Damn that was tasty
I'm a hobbit in a family of bean poles

I had a great weekend with my family in beautiful down town spud-ville. It was very good to see everyone; it had been way too long since I was out last (a little more than 2 years). Aunts, uncles, cousins, grandma, brother, sister, niece and nephew, it was a good time! I have a little advice for anyone whose planning to do any traveling in the near future, it’s good to organize some transportation from the airport in advance of actually arriving at your destination. I have learned that calling and saying “I’m here, come get me” is frowned upon.

I also learned that you don’t give your cell phone to your one year old nephew to play with, because when you get it back the number 0 will be missing and the microphone will not work any more. I tell you all this so you can learn from me, Blake ate my phone. He complained that it was under cooked and said it would have been better with shallots over a bed of rice, but he ate it none the less.

This trip has convinced me that I was adopted. My father is 6’4”, two of my younger female cousins are about 6’, almost everyone in my family is huge and I’m a hobbit. Either mom had an eye for a portly mailman or I got screwed!

Another reason for me to hate the Bay Area, my cousin Carrie has bought a house, a cute little 3 bedroom 1 and ½ bath house with a nice yard, fireplace… She paid $64,000! In the Bay Area you can’t rent a dog house for that. Granted she has to live in Idaho, but DAMN $64,000, that’s amazing. I’m very happy for her and totally jealous!

On a totally unrelated note, I ordered my surfboard yesterday!!!! I called my shaper, I have a shaper, and we talked shape! After a lengthy conversation I think I did a really good job of illustrating to the guy that I know nothing about shape. Anyway, the board is ordered and I should have it in about two weeks!

Wednesday, October 25, 2000

Why am I living up here?
Another spud please

I had a great weekend in San Diego! Those munchkins get cuter every time I see them. Blake is getting to the point where he remembers me and was very clingy with me this time. I love that! That’s what being an Uncle is all about. I picked up my new watch while I was down there. Thanks to Vicky at Deutsche Optik for the good deal! It was good to chat with her for a bit when I picked it up! I don’t miss that job, but the people there are great!

I’m off to the land of spud this weekend to see my grandma, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Steve, Jane and the kids are meeting me up there so that should be a good time. It’s been too long since I’ve been there. It’s costing me a small fortune to fly there, but can you put a price on family? Apparently you can, and it’s pretty expensive. It will be worth it though. Have a good weekend everyone! I’ll be the guy not working the rest of the week.

Friday, October 20, 2000

I’m out of this hell hole

I’m off to San Diego and you’re not! Yep, I’m heading down for a weekend of sun and munchkins. There’s nothing in the world like being called Uncle Ben, well maybe being called “Big Boy” by a blonde with… nevermind. A little time with the fam., Peggy, Mike and Petra is just what the Doctor ordered, that and a camera down my throat. Have a great weekend!

Wednesday, October 18, 2000

Take this job and…. You know
Please for the love of God just shut up and give us some rocks

Well, now that it’s Wednesday I thought it was about time I posted a little something about my weekend. Friday I had a terrible time at work and didn’t get home until pretty late. Saturday I fixed my broken car door handle with a part that I ordered from Bob Lewis Suzuki just under a decade ago. They did screw up and give me the part for free though so I can’t complain too much, well ok I can, but I’ll feel a little guilty about it. That night I went to the scare house at Great America with Kate, Greg, and Elizabeth. It was really cool! If you’re an autistic 9 year old. Since I’m neither (retarded doesn’t count), it was a little lame. I did have a good time despite its lameness because I was there with good peeps and we laughed a lot about how stupid the whole thing was. Sunday morning Taylor and I went to Santa Cruz with the intention of surfing, but it was flat, really flat. So we went to the Harley dealer and did a lot of wishing instead. No, Victoria didn’t come with us; she had a valid excuse, but I think she just didn’t want to get up at 6:00am on a Sunday. That afternoon was spent at Kathleen and Vance’s, they threw a Halloween BBQ and Vance’s new band played. Always a good time at that house.

This week started like last week ended, shitty! A lot of shit has been breaking and fixing it has been a pain in the ass. Such is life in the IT world I guess. I worked from home yesterday because of a serious traffic problem on 101; I love being able to do that!

I took Kate to the mall yesterday afternoon so she could buy some rocks for a school project. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the job market is too good. There should be a certain level of unemployment because there’s a certain percentage of the population that is unemployable. And they are all working at Natural Wonders in the Eastridge Shopping Center. It was ridiculous, they hovered over us, made bad, often off color jokes and were totally inept when anything was asked of them. Finally they let us be long enough for Kate to pick out some rocks. Then we ascended to the second level of Dante’s Inferno; we had to go pay. Which was a whole fiasco in itself, the guy didn’t know how to ring anything in. The manager had to come over to fix his mistakes and re-ring us. All said it took about a half an hour to buy $6.00 worth of rocks. If I was in Texas I’m pretty sure I could have legally bludgeoned them to death.

Thursday, October 12, 2000

Either I have bad breath or that’s my ass
You want to put a camera where?

I went to the gastroenterologist today, a very nice man. He wants to do an Upper GI Endoscopy, which is a non-painful procedure where he puts me under and then sticks a camera down my esophagus and into my stomach to check things out, no problem. The problem came when I was sent to his assistant Katherine. I sat down in her office and she hands me a pamphlet on Colonoscopy, HELLO! Wrong end! I point out her mistake, and she hands me the correct pamphlet. She then hands me some forms to sign, all of which say Colonoscopy at the top! I again point out her mistake and she says “Oh, why do I keep doing that” to which I said “I guess you really like my colon.” She was a little embarrassed. I’m not sure why, I’ve got a great colon. It’s quite understandable why she’d be so fixated on it. I think it’s my best feature. If I had a nickel for every time someone’s said “Hey, nice colon!” I could probably retire and live a comfortable life. Ok, that’s not totally true, it’s only happened a few times and Taylor’s the only one who’s said it, but he seems to like it. Anyway, my ass is safe, no thanks to Katherine, and my stomach will soon be all fixed up.

Monday, October 09, 2000

I’m romantic and retarded
Should I be intimidated because you’re better looking and cooler then me?

I just got off the phone with Victoria to ask her out on second date, to which she said, "yes" (hooray!!!!), but what form of congenital retardation do I have that turns me into an idiot when I’m on the phone with a girl? I’m a relatively intelligent guy; I’ve been told I’m very witty and easy to talk to. In person I do alright, I’m comfortable and relaxed, but for some reason if I’m on the phone I’m nervous and my witty repartee is reduced to rocking back and forth while drooling on myself.

Anyway, on to happier topics! Victoria is rad!!!! She’s got a great sense of humor, really great laugh, she’s smart, easy to talk to, and beautiful. She plays bass in a band, I heard their CD and they’re really good! I had a really good time with her on Friday. Did I mention that she’s 31? Yup 31, 5 years older than me. I have no problem with this, I think she’s amazing, but in my limited experience I’ve found that girls are a little uneasy about being older. I’ll just have to see what happens I guess.

I went surfing again yesterday with Taylor and Ron. It was a pretty flat day, but I still had a good time and had a few almost rides. It doesn’t take long for surfing to get in your blood. I’m hooked! It was a really relaxing weekend, hung with some friends, saw a few movies, good times!

Thursday, October 05, 2000

So I can't spell, sue me!

Every time I post a message to this thing Taylor gives me endless shit about my spelling and grammar. I have only one thing to say to him, Fuck You! When you’re dealing with genius, you can’t pause to make sure every little word is correctly spelled, you need to get the pearls of wisdom down before they float away. Taylor you’re missing the point! I’m out there making the world a better place to live and you’re telling me I used “to” instead of “too”. Someday people will look back on my thoughts and they will realize that they are the greatest works of literature ever created! They will not get bogged down by the fact that every once in a while I’d used “than” in stead of “then”. I will be compared to the likes of Steinbeck, Hemingway, and Twain! I will probably be knighted in a few years for my literary contributions! How stupid will you feel then, when you have to call me Sir Benny? It’s not my fault you have a little hanging participle and your parenthetical elements are shriveled and useless, so don’t take it out on me! But please continue to point out my errors so I can fix them, thanks buddy!

Monday, October 02, 2000

I'm either romantic or retarded, I'll get back to you
I had to get up early, but at least I fell down a lot

Well I had another fun and exciting weekend! I was supposed to go out with Victoria on Friday, but she called and postponed our date until next Friday, this has become quite the ordeal for a first date. My quest to go out with this girl has come to be known as the Victoria saga to those close to me. It's far too long a story to go into in any detail, but suffice to say that if I made it into a movie it would be the must see romantic comedy of the summer, or a Greek tragedy, depending on how this first date goes. Since my Friday plans fell though I went to a movie with Katie and Greg and a good time was had by all. Saturday was spent helping my new friend Suzy move, the bad news is: MOVING SUCKS!!!!!! The good news is she now lives about a block from me so we can go play all the time now. Sunday morning I got up at the ass crack of dawn to go surfing with Taylor and Ron. Surfing is fucking hard! I did get to my feet once! I was very excited about that; I'm definitely hooked! I also liked the fact that I looked like a cannoli in my wetsuit, I hear the ladies love that look. What people should know when they are just starting to surf is that swimming is about 90% of surfing, a clean "pop up" is about 60% of surfing and balance and timing are about 70% of surfing. The remaining 11% is the ability to sit on your board, a feat which proved much more difficult than it looks.

I got to work this morning to find that the guy in charge of ClearCase, our source control software for development has left, which makes me the contact for this stuff. I don't really mind getting more responsibility, but I prefer to know a little about what I'm supposed to be administering. Oh well, such is life in the IT world. If you don't have an expert, then give it to the guy who's closest to you at the time and hope he can figure it out.

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