Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Today feels warm, watch out for "boat people"! 

"Global warming is going to raise the sea level and lead to hundreds of thousands of 'boat people' raiding our country because we have so much high ground. I'm serious, the pentagon did a study."

While drinking tea with my favorite married couple after a very enjoyable dinner, my best friend Taylor uttered these lines. And though shaken, I had the presence of mind to ask his point.

"We're about to be inundated with violent boat people and Bush isn't taking it seriously. He didn't mention anything about it in his state of the union address." was his response.

Now, I'm not a Bush supporter but, I must say, with all the faults there are to be found in his presidency, not mentioning the pending "boat people" crisis in his state of the union address isn't one of them. Taylor, would you have him start a national panic? Mentioning the imminent invasion in such a public and prominent way would do just that! Leave this to the skilled and knowledgeable people in government. They know how to handle a naval attack of landless, high ground seeking barbarians.

This is not the first time Barbarian hordes have threatened to cross our borders. Remember the invasion of the "Sunny beaches and bikini clad girl barbarians" from Canada in '82? Or the "watchable T.V. seeking barbarians" from Mexico back in '97? No! Do you want to know why? I’ll tell you why, because our government knows how to handle these situations effectively and quietly. Keeping potentially volatile situations from a childlike public that couldn’t handle it. So please Taylor, leave this to the professionals. You must trust that they have the floating armada of sea faring foreigners, looking at all our high ground with wide, hungry eyes, well in hand.

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